{Happy Holidays}

Happy Happy Holidays! Yes I love the holidays, I love getting together with family and eating, decorating cookies, playing games, watching The Christmas Vacation or The Christmas Story! I think getting together as a family is the best part about the holidays, making memories with lots of laughs! I love decorating for the holidays! This year we decided to go with a fake Christmas tree because last year we went through two!  They both died, I watered them, I put stuff in the water to help keep them alive and it just didn't work. So we bought a flocked Christmas Tree from Daisy Hollow Floral in Malad from my good friend Chris! And I'm obsessed with it! I did all gold on it and the gold just pops because of the flock! I'm in love!!

I wanted to leave my most favorite holiday recipe on the blog, 
I'm addicted to Pinterest! And I have made this recipe now for two years in a row! 
It's so yummy!

Frozen Peppermint Cheesecake

1 8-oz brick cream cheese, softened

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 cup crushed peppermint candy canes (about 16 candy canes), plus more for sprinkling on top

1 pint heavy cream, whipped to stiff peaks

2 store-bought oreo cookie pie crusts

Combine cream cheese, sweetened condensed milk, and candy canes (except for the ones to sprinkle on top) in a large bowl and beat until smooth. Gently fold in the whipped cream. Divide the mixture evenly between the two chocolate crusts. Freeze until firm, at least 4 hours. Remove from freezer, sprinkle with extra crushed candy canes, and serve immediately.

Who doesn't love Oreo, or peppermint, or an easy recipe!!? Love trying new recipes and being able to keep the recipe because it's so yummy! Enjoy!!!

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Had to Share!

I was so excited to read this news this morning!! I had to share it!! Even though I blogged last night! This made me so happy! I have been following Bobbie Thomas's story from the today show who has been struggling with infertility, like I have mentioned her story in a couple of my last posts, and her news brought tears to my eyes! I have already thought to myself I will be the biggest emotional mess the day we find out if we are pregnant or not when that time comes! She is such an amazing lady who is so strong to put her news out there! I would bawl my eyes out, I know I wouldn't be able to talk because I would be so emotionally happy! So happy for Bobbie Thomas and her hubby!!

http://m.today.com/parents/bobbie-thomas-reveals-latest-results-ivf-journey-1D80316361

{Thankful}

I have been wanting to get on and blog about the word Thankful since Thanksgiving was last week! We had an awesome Thanksgiving! Ate some yummy food, visited and talked with both Trev's side of the fam and mine! It was a fun day!! We got to take my nephews and niece back home with us for a sleepover we took the kiddos bowling and also brought Trev's two cousins with us...6 kids and just Trev and I ha!! Quite the adventure! But so much fun! During the weekend it was so nice to actually spend some time with Trev as he works every weekend and it gets really frustrating and makes me grouchy since we don't have a day off together it just sucks at times...but I really got thinking over the weekend of everything I'm thankful for so here is my list!! {Thankful Tuesday} 

I'm so thankful for a loving husband who cares at all times when at times I don't honestly deserve it. I'm thankful he always reminds me to look at the positive side on things when I have decided in my mind I have thought of the negative because that's how things have gone lately that I'm starting to get used to the news we hear.  I'm thankful that he can always bring a smile to my face even if I have tears in my eyes and my heart is hurting...I am so lucky to have him in my life! I love you babe-

I'm thankful for my dog child Max! My buddy! He is my comfort when times are tough he reminds me just by his little underbite that everything is okay! I always look forward to the weekends when I know I have no where to be and Trev works so I get to have puppy cuddles and watch chick flicks.

I am thankful for two sets of parents! my parents and Trev's! what would we do without you! you have helped us in so many ways possible, you have picked us up off the floor when we have felt like tomorrow isn't worth it, you have taught Trev and I how to be better people to one another, and you have shown us how to be a husband and wife to each other how to have respect and show love.

I am thankful that Trev and I have two amazing families! We both were blessed with such an amazing family and we are both so lucky to have all of them in our lives!! 

I'm thankful to be an aunt to the most amazing nieces and nephews ever!!  I have watched these cute kids grow ever since they were born and I smile every time I see them and how they are growing into such amazing good kiddos!  

I am thankful for a brother, brother in law, sister and sister in law who have always been there for Trev and I whenever needed! we are thankful to have you guys in our lives! thank you for always being so caring and treating us like siblings should treat one another! we love being able to spend time with you guys, all the laughs, and the memories we always share as family!

 

I'm thankful to have such amazing friends that I can call and they will just sit and listen and let me cry or scream before they even try to speak, we don't get to see each other all the time but  it's like we can pick up from where we left off the last time we saw each other and talk for hours!

I'm thankful to have a warm bed to sleep in! {people that know me, know I love my sleep} 

I'm thankful Trev and I have jobs to be able to afford the things we need in life! We are both hard workers and I can't wait to have kids and teach them to be hard workers also.

I'm thankful for such an awesome Dr. That has been there for Trev and I through this whole process of trying to have a family, he understands everything! He knows how heartbreaking it really is! 

I'm thankful for a kitchen! An oven and stove and kitchen utensils! To be able to cook! I learned to cook from the best! And I'm thankful I can cook homemade meals for my family and can't wait to teach my children! {I've about got Trev trained!, maybe a few more years} 

I'm thankful for photography! I believe with all my heart every picture tells a story! I know my husband gets sick of family pictures every year but these pictures are memories! Memories that I will cherish all my life!

I'm thankful for vacations I love to travel when we have the money, a good getaway with my hubby and sometimes pup can be so nice just to relax and spend some time together as a family. 

I'm thankful for the beauty of nature! Seriously have you ever just stopped and looked around at what's in front of you? I will never forget the day my husband and I took Max for a walk and let him play at the park and my husband said to me "come lay down by me and look at the clouds in the sky"

Me being my selfish way and asking why, then kinda thinking to myself he is being weird! But I did it, I laid beside him and we both looked into the sky and laughed and giggled, but the best part was looking at the amazing sky and saying what we thought each cloud looked like, and being able to do this with my best friend!

 "There is beauty all around"

And last I'm thankful for myself some people think I may be selfish for saying that but if anyone asked my husband I usually would not admit or say anything good about myself-I'm always so hard on myself as my husband would say...one small zit on my face I sit and say how gross I look, I say how fat I am and how gross I look from being on fertility pills, seriously it makes you gain weight and want to eat non stop! I'm hard on myself...and I have noticed throughout this whole difficulty getting pregnant I have become a stronger person inside and out, there are times that yes I can't hold back my tears and I just burst out bawling but that is from holding it in and being strong for so long I'm ready to explode, I am healthy, and I am thankful for good health!! I am thankful for the teachings of how to be strong and patient! Sometimes we don't understand God's plans for us but I know with all my heart he is teaching me how to be patient and strong at the same time!

There is so much to be thankful for in life and I know I need to be better at looking on the brighter side of life, try to see the little things in life even when life feels like it's falling apart! I always have an amazing husband by my side and amazing family there always!!

listed below is a link I got from a friend of mine that is also struggling with infertility/difficulty getting pregnant, I wanted to share because some people don't understand how words really do get taken to heart and how much it does make us feel down.

http://fancylittlethings.com/2012/05/the-ten-worst-things-to-say-to-your-infertile-bff/

Thanks for reading todays post!!

{Always be thankful}
XO

Bobbie Thomas from Today

I wanted to share a link on  Bobbie Thomas from the Today show...I have followed her story while she has been going through her struggles of trying to get pregnant, this lady is a strong woman inside and out and she is one I love to read and listen about because she is so strong in every situation her and her husband are going through! Although Trev and I haven't made the decision yet to do IVF because of the cost situation with IVF I always love to hear all about it and peoples stories about going through this because possibly one day Trev and I may have to do the IVF process if our other options don't work. So I like to know what people go through just so I'm aware of what I will have to go through...I have looked up to Bobbie Thomas since the day I started reading all the struggles she was going through, she isn't a gal who hides behind cameras! She's out there on tv getting judged for everything. So glad she is putting her story out there so all of us woman that are going through the same struggles can read or listen to how strong she is through all of this and help all of us try to be the same! Enjoy the link and her video!

http://m.today.com/parents/your-prayers-are-welcome-bobbie-thomas-shares-her-ivf-journey-1D80307907

Research

{Researching} So I have been sick now for two weeks! yes two weeks! stupid cold, sinus, cough, sore throat, headaches, ear aches, you name it, I got it! SO today I have basically been sleeping most of the day with the ear ache and head pressure going on! hasn't been fun...I thought I would get on and blog after I have been sitting here trying to come up with ideas for Christmas gift ideas and searching on the internet...

 

I had a talk the other night with my mom we discussed and just chatted about everything and all about this baby making stuff...she talked to me about some ideas and things to think on so I have been doing a lot of research on the web looking at different Dr's and kind of just trying to put together a plan or something affordable that Trev and I could go through...its so hard to try to come up with new ideas and new options because all your other options have failed over and over...yes the last IUI we went through, the one that I basically almost gave up on even doing because I was in so much pain...it failed...this is where it all begins after you have a failed IUI then I am constantly thinking of new ideas like I have said before, I have not given up on this hope for a baby because I feel like if this is seriously on my mind 24/7 then there is a reason why...its just like my mom always says "some people just have to fight harder for a baby" and it is so true...I will fight till the end...I will fight until we have this babe into our arms...while researching and looking into a few different sites I ran across a site and I wanted to point out some things that were said on this website that really caught me and how true these words really are...

 

• A study from Harvard Medical School in Boston shows that woman who have difficulty getting pregnant can be as depressed as those who have major heart problems or cancer.
• Having difficulty getting pregnant can cause as much grief as losing a loved one.
• There's a fear that life will be eternally empty, some feel a sense of damage and brokenness; it goes to the heart.
• Its almost impossible to convey what its like to people who haven't gone through it. There's a feeling of despair and loss that you just can't qualify, so much weight is on the line, so many questions...
• Woman wonder why our bodies are betraying us, why won't it do what it is supposed to do!?
• Woman get so heartbroken with every failed test, they get angry, they get disappointed to where they want to give up on everything and even life itself...
• Couples get into a very dark place, they began avoiding friends, family, phone calls or texts, canceling plans and not making new ones, just to get away from the questions of everyone.
• Treatments can be so intense that even when money is not a factor, the stress can be too much to continue.
• Woman become slaves to their monthly cycles, monitoring ovulation dates, when to take fertility pills, how many days in between each menstrual cycle and so on.

I wanted to just write a few of these down because so many people just don't understand how hard it is for someone that goes day in and day out of the struggle of not being able to have a child or the difficulty couples go through trying to have a baby that have to fight for this angel to be apart of there family. I read this article and I sat there and realized how much of that article fits me lately...other than going to work to provide for my family, coming home and making dinner for my husband and I, and always stressing over little things...I cannot explain how much baby is just on my mind...having a baby runs through my mind everyday and if someone followed me and looked over my shoulder everyday and watched every little thing I do...you would be amazed...constant googling, putting notes down in my phone, tracking menstrual cycle, putting on my calander when to start fertility, putting the dates down for each procedure and when it failed...seriously if I lost my phone and someone found it and went through it they would probably think I was insane...in fact there was one night I got home from work and told my husband we have to go to Logan! my phone would not turn on, I tried everything, I was seriously freaking-that phone is my life! some people think they can't go without there phone because they need to check facebook or whatever, I basically can't go without my phone because of my notes and calendars.

 

I just want to say when someone is dealing with constant fails of not getting pregnant, its seriously a touchy subject...its hard when people ask questions, or people are constantly talking of other pregnancies it makes couples want to put ear muffs on and run out the door...some people don't understand how touchy we are-I have sat and listened to people talk and talk and not stop talking over pregnancies that I have tried with all my heart to hold back tears...sometimes it gets that hard to the point where you can't hold in the tears anymore, yes we couples are so happy for other couples that are expecting, it is just so difficult because it gets to the point where you just want something so bad...and its like you can't do anything about it! we have no control, you feel like a failure at times...its just really hard...so just a word from this gal that is struggling if you know of someone that is going through the difficulty of trying to get pregnant but can't, just common courtesy think before you do or say...it really is a touchy subject between husband and wife especially when everyone is getting pregnant around you but you...its hard, and couples have to deal with it everyday and put on a happy face and be excited for them even through the struggle of what we are going through...we couldn't be happier for everyone that gets to hold those sweet babes in there arms and get to teach and love on them. As for now all of us couples that struggle will keep praying, and having faith!

 

I have to brag about my husband, the day I found out my IUI failed I had a moment...I broke down into tears and so many thoughts rushed through my mind..."I give up, why am I not good enough to be a mom, what's wrong with me, I am a failure, I can't give my husband a baby," I mean all these thoughts just rush through your mind you just don't know where to begin or what to do next...Trev left and went and got us some dinner, I had a moment home by myself there were a lot of tears, screaming, bawling so hard I was shaking, cursing at the man above....I mean what else...when Trev got home I had the bedroom door closed and locked just having my girl moment for awhile...he still came to check on me...he never leaves my side through any of this, he is always there to hold me and tell me this will all work out even when I have told myself I am done. I love this man with all I have, I know God has made us go through this struggle for a reason and I think it is to bring us closer, to show each other the love for one another more, to be patient with each other and to always be there for one another. This isn't a fun struggle we have been through but as long as I have my husband by my side I will fight until the end. I love you Trev and thanks for dealing with my break downs at times! On a side note when you go through bad days getting your hair did, a little shopping, cooking snickerdoodles, and putting your Christmas Tree up in November always makes for a happier day...hope you enjoy todays blog! Enjoy the pictures!

 

 



{Hobbies}

I wanted to post some fun little hobbies I have done throughout my life!...in my {spare time} my little spare time that I rarely have lately because if I am not at work I am laying on the couch resting from being exhausted from work! Life has been chaotic lately...I feel like I haven't had a lot of time for just myself or my family! Gaaaah! I am so ready for the holidays for family time! That's all I want is to spend time with family, cook, and eat lots of yummy food!! I am excited to help my momma with her fun cooking and all she does during the holidays! have I mentioned my mom is seriously my BEST FRIEND?! She is someone I look up to everyday!! She is such an inspiration and an amazing person inside and out! her and my pops! love them both! Anyways, back to my hobbies! just to list a few! 

I LOVE...

COOKING

CRAFTING

PHOTOGRAPHY

SHOPPING

WINDOW SHOPPING

DECORATING

And someday in my dreams, yes in my dreams I want to own my own bakery business...Yes I can keep telling myself to keep dreaming...but seriously I LOVE TO BAKE! mostly treats and goodies! how fun would that be! I will keep that in my dreams and dream everyday for my own bakery! I grew up with the most amazing bakers in my family! Both of my grandma's, Grandma Vaughan and Grandma Alder, I always remember sitting on there counter as a child and helping them bake all the time! So many memories I will always keep close to my heart. Another amazing baker would be my mother! I have learned so much from her! I remember always calling her when I was younger and asking her how much butter I use if it calls for a 1/2 Cup, ha!! I learned something new all the time from her!, my dad! if anyone has ever tried my dads dutch oven cooking! you would agree with me! he is AMAZING! he loves learning new recipes to cook in the dutch ovens and not only that he has won two years in a row when he entered a dutch oven cooking contest! Go Dad!! along with my aunts! I can't leave them out!, and My grandpa Alder! he amazes me everyday!! 90 years old, and he loves to cook! his homemade ice-cream! oh my goodness! A-mazing! he would always make bread when I was growing up, it was so fun to see how excited he would get when he pulled his bread out and how perfect it was! love my gramps! and I can't forget Trev's gram! I seriously love her! She always loves to help and show me new recipes or how to bake something new! 
I come from an amazing family that all love to cook!! 
Its pretty fun during the holidays! 
Here are some pictures of some goodies I have made, photography, and crafting! Enjoy!!

PS: I wanted to attach a link to a family member out of the Alder family who is my mothers cousin! she is on KSL and has tons of videos and yummy recipes! she is a fun lady! her name is 
Kathleen Alder, her and her husband live in Logan, Utah, in a gorgeous house! you may know her husband who was a Dr in Ogden, Utah and has now retired, {Dr. Alder}
http://studio5.ksl.com/index.php?nid=34&query=kathleen+alder

Crafts & Baking

McCombs Family

 

 

 

 

Cox Family

 

{Updates}

I wanted to give updates on last week and information on how the IUI went and what all Trev and I dealt with...this is the first IUI we had done since my surgery-I don't think I mentioned what kind of surgery I went through...I went in on February 14th, 2014 {yes I know, how romantic for Valentines Day} for a surgery for endometriosis -while going through this surgery they got everything cleaned up and also found out that my left ovary had moved clear back to my pelvic bone so during this surgery they moved that back and everything went great...it was an outpatient surgery so I went in and came home same day...on a funny note my after surgery CNA was a girl that Trev had taken out on dates back in the days before I even knew Trev! lol, so here I am no make up, asking where my pup was {Max} and why the Kardashians weren't on TV...{awesome!} lets just say I was fine with my water and ice that I was drinking after surgery and she kept telling me I needed to keep drinking some Apple Juice, well Trev was getting me in the car ready to go home, started driving off and my stomach started just rolling I yelled to Trev I am going to puke!! it was seriously horrible it was one of those you can't hold back, holy shit what do I do moments! Trev yelled open the door! so barely I made it and opened the door but not quite soon enough! puke all over the door and ground, straight APPLE JUICE! I was so out of it I just started bawling and told Trev that chic needs to go back to CNA school I was fine with my water and ice! ha! it was pretty funny now that we look back on the whole situation! I have to thank my husband for putting up with my craziness! Love that man!

So we went in on Friday last week for a follicle check and on a positive note I had 2 awesome, perfect follicles on my left ovary! which I never had any follicles on my left ovary before I had that surgery! so I was really happy to hear that! So they wanted to go ahead and do the IUI same day...we went to the pharmacy and picked up my shot that I have to have that helps make you ovulate that insurance won't cover so our total for that was $110.00 yes basically money we don't have to just throw out but I will do anything I can and pay whatever I have to for this angel baby...so we went back to the Dr's office to have the shot given to me and found out the sperm washer that does her thing with Trevs sperm was out of the office till late Friday night she was in Phoenix and they only have one lady that does that in the office, so we had to wait and have IUI done Saturday morning at 8:00 am...so we went in and the office was closed so it was just Trev and I, and the lady that washes sperm and Ken who does the IUI's...can I just say I have so much respect for the people out of my Dr's office-they are amazing! and I am so thankful each day I can walk in that office and how truthful and caring they are to Trev and I, we appreciate all they have helped us with. Lets just say the IUI wasn't pretty and was so painful I have never bawled my eyes out of pain,  swore, told them to stop, or cried to Trev and told him I can't do it anymore, I can't, I give up. They had to dilate my cervix and with having such a tight cervix that is what causes so much pain...they have struggled with this every time we have gone in for an IUI and until I have a baby my cervix will always be this way...I was a complete mess and so upset I couldn't stop crying-my poor husband as he just sits there and can't do a thing besides stand there and let me almost break his fingers by squeezing so hard...they got the whole thing done not sure if it will work again or not because they could barely get the catheter in...but we will see, all we can do is keep praying to the man above and have faith.

I have seriously learned that I just need to accept that things are going to be hard in my life-I told Trev I have the worst luck when it comes down to anything it always makes me think {HOW} how can someone try to be positive when going through all this and nothing works...I have learned that Heavenly Father can see I am a strong woman that can honestly conquor hard things in life! I have so much faith, I don't give up in life...I will say that I give up but then I am back on the internet googling other options in life as to what we can do if something doesn't work! I believe with all I have Trev and I will have this sweet angel in our lives someday, and we will give this babe so much love and all the love that it deserves! I know Trev will be an amazing father he loves kids, he has such an amazing heart of gold and will show his kids everyday how much they mean to him by teaching them, helping them learn, talking to them about sports, whats right from wrong...along with me showing my children everything I have been taught by my momma and dad...I was raised by the most amazing, hard working, loving parents ever- I have been taught so much growing up and still to this day I love learning more and more from my parents.  I am so thankful for having my mom and dad always by my side, someone I can cry to or laugh to! I took a picture of the day I went through the IUI when they had me hanging upside down for 20 minutes to show how hard things can be at times-tears can be really ugly especially when it makes your make up a mess! a girl deserves a Starbucks after going through that mess! Below is the picture, along with the day I came home from my surgery in February, my pup was really concerned about me-makes me smile seeing that picture! I have also attached a link to Carrie Underwoods new song, my favorite part of the song says "just a little faith and it'll all get better" "Couldn't fight back my tears so I fell on my knees saying God if you're there come and rescue me" These words are honestly how I have felt lately;

 {having faith} 

{praying, please help us} 

Thanks for reading todays blog! -XO!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVEHJ9C-H9I

Family-Life-Work

So I haven't blogged for awhile life has been busy, busy! my work has been crazy busy with a new system training and I feel like I can't keep up lately! Did I say Busy! So just a quick update before I head to bed! 

Trev and I have been living life day by day still just waiting and praying! we went in last month to have an IUI done and on the positive side...I had follicles on my left ovary which is good news! because before I had the surgery I had in February for endometriosis they could never find follicles on my left ovary! on the negative note and the downside we didn't have big enough follicles to do an IUI that month so the waiting game begins! I started back on the fertility/CRAZY pills called Femara and we go back in this Friday for another follicle check to see if we can try for the IUI this month. 

{keeping our fingers crossed}

So we had our family pictures done by Samantha Little so I wanted to share a few! I am so excited to get some canvas's printed out and put them up on my walls! Enjoy Friends!