Footsteps For Fertility Event!

You read the subject right! today I felt like it was a good day to sit down and blog about the amazing event we joined over the weekend!! I am still in complete shock and still so emotional, I can't even handle to hold in my tears when I talk about this event! 

Trev and I debated over doing this event or not and we really got thinking and talked about it and it was a simple decision of umm! yes we are going to join this event! and how fun would it be to go and meet new friends and learn about other people that are struggling with infertility! I have to admit I was so nervous I didn't sleep for 3 days before the event and I was a little stressed out! mainly because this was our first time! and I have to say that it was the most memorable event I will always remember! and never forget about! and not only that we have made a decision to attend every year even if we don't have a team! we want to be there and walk for couples that struggle with this mean disease! yes I said disease! infertility is a disease and they say it is just like a person struggling with cancer or a death in there family...I have to thank everyone that came to this race and supported TEAM BABY LARSEN some of the best words I have ever heard that made me very emotional was a man named Jared who has a youtube channel called Ellie and Jared who are husband and wife, go ahead and look them up! they are awesome! but some of the words he said to the crowd that he spoke out that really touched me and made me very emotional was...

"I want everyone to just look around to the people next to you, look at all the people who are here, whether you are male, female, someone you know or you are supporting, you guys are all here to support each other for one of the most amazing things in life "family"what a great cause, what a great thing these guys are doing for footsteps for fertility!"

Those words really stuck out to me...FAMILY...Trev and I wouldn't be able to do this without the support of our family that has been by our sides and wouldn't let us just give up! we are so thankful for the friends and family that supported us through this event and not only the family that stood beside us through this race and went through it with us! It was so amazing and makes me emotional to have my family there and standing by my side through this and seeing really how hard it is to go through infertility! its always so nice to have your family beside you to just hold you when you are happy or sad and this event made me realize how much I need my family and friends just to be there and never let Trev and I give up on this struggle, to push us and tell us that we got this! our sweet baby angel is waiting to be sent down to us! I am so thankful for my family and friends, I can't express enough how much I love you all and how much the world is a better place when you have family and friends! this event had me in so many emotions! I am so thankful that Trev and I got to go through this and experience this together and shed a few tears together! I am also thankful for the new couples that we got to meet and learn about and hear about there story.

Next, I need to express my feelings about Trev...I am one person that doesn't show my feelings very well and that is something I need to be better at as a wife...I hide my emotions...I don't like people seeing me cry, I don't know why, maybe its because I make an ugly cry face I am not sure! but this man of mine has been through so much and has dealt with so much of my constant no emotion, orneriness, not feeling well, bummed out, craziness and I have to just say I could have never found the most loving guy with the biggest heart ever. I am so thankful for Trevor and I am so thankful that he has stood beside me through all the hard times we have went through. I can't wait to see him as a daddy and see all the love he shows to our children just like he does just to me and Max our pup...he tries to be a hard {ass} but deep down this guy has a heart you just have to dig for his emotions at times! I love you babe and I am so thankful for each day that I get to wake up with you as my husband, thank you for all you do for me, and us as a family...

Ok back the Footsteps for Fertility event! are you guys just all waiting to hear if we won anything? well you might just have to wait till my next blog to find that out! HA! its like getting addicted to a series show! you just want to find out what happened right!? Okay! won't make you wait! and if you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you probably already know!

SO! Trev and I are so excited and so emotional to announce that we won the $5,000.00 Grant at this event! What does this mean? we get to use this $5,000.00 towards any procedure that we need to have done! we are so excited and still in complete shock! our name got called and we both just stood there like did they really just call our name? I guess you get this way because you start to expect nothing to go right after you have been through so much already you just start looking for the negative even when you try to tell yourself be positive! I have to say when we walked into this event I felt calm, I just felt like everything happens for a reason and like I said in my last blog trust in God's timing! we are so thankful for Footsteps For Fertility and this event! that they gave us the opportunity to jump on the wagon and get started again in our journey of making our family grow! I know this will be an emotional ride and I stress for Trevor and all that he will have to go through with my craziness while I am on meds but if I have to be on crazy meds to get our angel baby here I will do anything as long as I have Trevs shoulder and love!  what an amazing weekend! thank you all for supporting us through our journey! and we will keep you all updated! Love you all! I do want to express my love to my dad! I got the most amazing text message that I will always cherish close to my heart, I don't share a lot of personal stuff and I have thought really hard if I want to keep this text just between my dad, Trev and I but this blog is my blog and I am blogging sharing about our journey, the ups the downs and the love so I have chosen to share my text because I want it to touch you as much as it touched me! I will upload it below in the pictures! Thanks for reading todays blog! XO 

Here are a few pictures from the weekend! Enjoy!

{Letting The Small Things Go}

Hey Friends so I wrote this blog awhile back and never uploaded it! so you all are in for it today! you get two new blogs! and you all deserve it because I have slacked on the blog updates!! but I have so much new information and lots to write about today! so here we go! 

Blog number one for today! read below!

So a lot has been on my mind these last couple weeks and I have been thinking about a lot lately more so thinking a lot about stress, with the combination of happiness...can you be these two things at the same time? I tell myself all the time I will not let stress bring my happiness down...this takes me back to last year...when everything I did revolved around having a baby, or trying to get pregnant...I was stressed, emotional, exhausted, you get the jiff...but I sit and think to myself about last year, I was miserable I never did ANYTHING, I never just enjoyed myself or having time with Trev, basically all I ever wanted to do was sit at home, I didn't care if I was there with Trev or by myself...I didn't care!

Where am I going with this? my goal this year after I stopped having IUI's done, and took a break from the baby problems, I told myself I was going to enjoy life...this baby journey isn't going to hold me back from the things that I love to do! basically that is what it did to me the last couple years, I never enjoyed life.

We haven't just enjoyed life, I was holding back on going and having fun in fear of always running into situations or conversations of "when are you guys going to have a baby?" or the constant happiness and talking about another person being pregnant...there were so many times that I would leave somewhere and get in my car and sit there for a minutes and just bawl, I would think to myself "why, why me" there were days and nights that I would scream and yell at God, times where I absolutely felt alone and hated everything and everyone around me including myself...sounds pretty scary right? more like a scary emotional broken hearted girl that felt like she wasn't good enough and that is why I haven't been blessed with a baby. But is that really true? I threw a pity party, do I want you to feel bad for me, NO.

I look back at growing up and how much love I have given my nieces and nephews, I treat those kids as if they are my own, I get so happy when I get to see them or be able to babysit...I have showed so much love to those little kids and spoiled them as they have grown and I look at all those times and think to myself; God has seen me with little kids, he knows that I would be a good mother and the love I have for all children! so why am I still sitting here at the age of 29 with not one child? I have learned to trust in God's timing...HE HAS A PLAN! we can get frustrated, yell/scream and tell him you hate him and his plans but his plans are the best thing that can ever make life go right when you just believe and understand to wait for his timing...

{ Jesus Replied "You don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will" }

John 13:7

{ The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming }

Romans 8:18

Just a few scriptures that I always read and tell myself when I start to think down on myself!

I just wanted to sit down and share what has been on my mind lately and to always remember don't let stress ruin your happiness and the things you love to do in life! I have realized how miserable I was compared to now! I go out and I do the things I enjoy in life! one of the things I have done this year was make a bucket list! it has helped so much and I have seriously made it a goal to accomplish my bucket list by the end of the year of all the things I love to do during each season, holiday, or just life activities! I have learned to just enjoy and love on everyone else's babies until I get some of my own and that is one thing that has made me feel like its really going to be ok! I love cuddling new babies! I could sit and hold a baby all day everyday!!

Thanks for reading todays blog!

XO