Hey Friends so I wrote this blog awhile back and never uploaded it! so you all are in for it today! you get two new blogs! and you all deserve it because I have slacked on the blog updates!! but I have so much new information and lots to write about today! so here we go!
Blog number one for today! read below!
So a lot has been on my mind these last couple weeks and I have been thinking about a lot lately more so thinking a lot about stress, with the combination of happiness...can you be these two things at the same time? I tell myself all the time I will not let stress bring my happiness down...this takes me back to last year...when everything I did revolved around having a baby, or trying to get pregnant...I was stressed, emotional, exhausted, you get the jiff...but I sit and think to myself about last year, I was miserable I never did ANYTHING, I never just enjoyed myself or having time with Trev, basically all I ever wanted to do was sit at home, I didn't care if I was there with Trev or by myself...I didn't care!
Where am I going with this? my goal this year after I stopped having IUI's done, and took a break from the baby problems, I told myself I was going to enjoy life...this baby journey isn't going to hold me back from the things that I love to do! basically that is what it did to me the last couple years, I never enjoyed life.
We haven't just enjoyed life, I was holding back on going and having fun in fear of always running into situations or conversations of "when are you guys going to have a baby?" or the constant happiness and talking about another person being pregnant...there were so many times that I would leave somewhere and get in my car and sit there for a minutes and just bawl, I would think to myself "why, why me" there were days and nights that I would scream and yell at God, times where I absolutely felt alone and hated everything and everyone around me including myself...sounds pretty scary right? more like a scary emotional broken hearted girl that felt like she wasn't good enough and that is why I haven't been blessed with a baby. But is that really true? I threw a pity party, do I want you to feel bad for me, NO.
I look back at growing up and how much love I have given my nieces and nephews, I treat those kids as if they are my own, I get so happy when I get to see them or be able to babysit...I have showed so much love to those little kids and spoiled them as they have grown and I look at all those times and think to myself; God has seen me with little kids, he knows that I would be a good mother and the love I have for all children! so why am I still sitting here at the age of 29 with not one child? I have learned to trust in God's timing...HE HAS A PLAN! we can get frustrated, yell/scream and tell him you hate him and his plans but his plans are the best thing that can ever make life go right when you just believe and understand to wait for his timing...
{ Jesus Replied "You don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will" }
John 13:7
{ The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming }
Romans 8:18
Just a few scriptures that I always read and tell myself when I start to think down on myself!
I just wanted to sit down and share what has been on my mind lately and to always remember don't let stress ruin your happiness and the things you love to do in life! I have realized how miserable I was compared to now! I go out and I do the things I enjoy in life! one of the things I have done this year was make a bucket list! it has helped so much and I have seriously made it a goal to accomplish my bucket list by the end of the year of all the things I love to do during each season, holiday, or just life activities! I have learned to just enjoy and love on everyone else's babies until I get some of my own and that is one thing that has made me feel like its really going to be ok! I love cuddling new babies! I could sit and hold a baby all day everyday!!
Thanks for reading todays blog!
XO
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